courtneylove The right words from Martin Luther King today . I woke up to see images of a city I once lived in burning itself down , breaking itself .
Upon discovering the rage of Alexander Pope , who was hiding in an Oxford anthology. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1743 . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
nam myoho renge kyo 📿 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My heart breaks for you.💔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
courtneylove I forget hardly anyone knows about this part of my life.
Not a fan of a roadie (“Connor “) speaking to what went on between a 17 yr old girl ( me) & a 24 yr old rock star ( Cope) .
Sexist 🚺to quote him.
I’m benevolent enough to never have illuminated the obvious .
here’s an account of some of what happened.
I enjoyed living it 🧡✨💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💅🏻👑CL 🐾link in bio
courtneylove “Julie Johnson” 🍿 🎥 2001, with the delightful , husky voiced #lilitaylor , shot in New Jersey ( director ; bob Gosse) 💪💕👯♂️👯♂️💃💅🏻👩❤️👩🔥 ( i won the best actress award at Outfest that year ) 🍻 🍻
courtneylove (Part 1) #1, Hole , front row, 90s ( #2, @courtneylove account , deleted , Britney Spears “hot bod” post ) .cleaning up this account the other night was the most humbling , triggering, incandescent, horrible , 10 hours I have spent in sobriety,, I didn’t run & couldn’t face reading this account . I had no agency over my public persona . ( or my private Before August 11 2018 if I texted- emailed it was generally not me , if so , it was copied , and often embellished if other parties had any profit /interest in my relationships . ) I didn’t write the bizzare captions, , toadying hashtags, ass kissing on here - a huge amends to anyone who hung out with me who had to read that shit.
Those aren’t my values .
what values ?
Looks like I didn’t have a pulse .
I DID, get picked up , from my house on sunset plaza , stuffed with Xanax / Booze( maybe cocaine If I’d been” good” ) and told to “shut it” and stand next to fuck knows who , fuck knows where , posed with zonked , dead eyes , and blurred in narcotic sulfur (that , I did and said anything to feed . My habit was next level massive )with out a real idea how important Instagram is, ( not that I’d have cared) . Once these photos were obtained I was free to pass out for another week or so , My services were not needed .
And that? Was My Rich , textured, sexy , glamourous , wretched , life . . we deleted a lot on this account , dug up hashtags , on teen stars(!) , found side hustles the person running the account as me would demand goods and services for . and would ( obsessively , sometimes , even romantically ) dm other “ celebs “ ( again lots of , teen stars, reality people, bands I don’t know , cartoon characters) as me. ( but on occasion people I know ) . the Kurt content blew my mind . It’s Tuesday ? They’d put up a photo of Kurt .
I’m fine with my occasional public acknowledgment of Kurt . . But this next level pandering, , frankly living up to the worst shit said about me ? No wonder people think it’s ok to simply bring him up to me , with no respect . Or formality . . This Instagram , is who I am to you . In social media terms . ... And I’m real ashamed. I’m so sorry everyone
courtneylove 28 years ago , we got married , in Honolulu, on Waikiki beach 🏝 tonight spoke to sponsor , I .. Lit some candles 🕯 chanted ,diamoku , Walked my dog 🐕 . Went to sushi with my best friend , the closest I have to another one.
28 years ago
I recall feeling , deeply , delighted , dizzy , so in love, and knowing how lucky I was . This man was an angel. i thank him for looking out for me , many parts of the the last 28 years have been torturous chaotic and uphill, and in public? That is the darkest shit imaginable, it almost tapped my resilience , almost . but between Kurt’s strange amazing divinity , and the honor of a few true friends , the gift of desperation and sobriety . Of a Higher power and of love , and of empathy , I’m here now. It’ll be ok ,fuck , I see him on the shore . Rocking in the free world. My husband.
courtneylove Las Vegas . 2004. Anna Nicole , I was 2 days out of a crap money pit rehab in Orange County . . She started the evening by offering me cotton candy 🍭, she was pretty much the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, and I have seen so many , we ended up in some rich dudes high roller suite downing shots and etc. I think there’s footage, Thats been disposed of by the E! Channel , in between there was a music “ awards “ show . It was corny , something to do with Monaco , it was televised, Robbie Williams. Heidi Klum? I don’t know. Man, she was incredibly beautiful like a mist, she trailed me all night . We had fun. I’m very grateful to have met her. Vegas is terrifying . And it’s rare and hard to be able to keep any length of sobriety at all, grateful for the little bit I have tonight .A Savage slip stream , tsunami of chaos hit her. A senseless waste . She wasn’t resilient enough to rise above in the moment the water washed over her head, the wave hit her wrong, it’s just a matter of luck, angles , seconds , she didn’t have the right skills or men (or women) strong 💪 enough to pull her up, how sad and fucked. What a beauty what a pity how many times it could have been me. Or you , So many .. rip sweet pretty Anna Nicole we love you tonight ...
courtneylove “Go on take everything...” #tbt January 1995. Hole releases “Violet”, the 3rd single from Live Through This.
Featuring non album tracks “Old Age”, “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)” and “Whose Porn You Burn (Black)” across a variety of formats, the single art is from the historical archives of Dr. Stanley B. Burns.
#hole #violet #livethroughthis
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